- Haddock
- An enclosure for seahorses
s43e06
- Haemorrhage
- A line of piles
s41e05
- Hagiography
- Edwina Currie's book
s40e06
- Haiku - 1
- Greeting amongst pigeons
s67e06
- Haiku - 2
- Pigeon on helium
s63e04
- Hairbrush
- Basil's German cousin
s70e04
- Hairspray
- Incontinent German
s55e02
s68e02
- Halitosis
- Athlete's Foot caused by a comet
s46e04
- Hammas
- What Geordies use to bang nails in
s45e01
- Hamstring
- Sexy underwear for pigs
s64e02
- Haphazard
- "Mind that hap!"
s44e06
- Harlequin
- One of a set of five motorbikes
s42e04
- Harpist
- Fairly drunk
s44e04
s44e06
s57e02
- Harpsichord
- What you pull if you need to jettison your harp
s67e02
- Hashtag
- Party game where you chase each other for drugs
s67e04
- Haut Cuisine
- Porridge
s64e02
- Haywain
- Essex greeting
s39e06
- Heathrow
- Brief description of what a baggage handler does
s44e06
- Hebrew
- Jewish teabag
s39e02
- Hedgerow
- Hedgehog eggs
s40e04
- Hee Haw
- A male prostitute
s60e04
- Henna
- Like a hen but even more so
s50e02
- Herbicide
- The murder of a Volkswagen Beetle
s56e04
- Herpes
- What a woman won prizes for at the local flower show
s44e02
- Hiding
- A bell you can't reach
s37e02
- Himalaya
- A transsexual rooster
s46e02
- Himalayas
- Hermaphrodite chickens
s58e02
- Hindsight - 1
- Builder's cleavage
s58e06
- Hindsight - 2
- Jennifer Lopez
s41e05
- Hispanic
- Fear of snakes
s58e02
s61e02
s71e06
- Hither
- A snake with a hare lip
s39e06
- Hoarding
- Prostitute's microwave
s37e03
- Hoax
- Those big trees with haycorns on them
s63e04
- Hobgoblin - 1
- Eating stoves
s39e06
- Hobgoblin - 2
- Anthony Worrall-Thompson
s54e06
- Hob-nob
- Cooking accident
s38e01
- Hobnobbing
- Casual sex with a goblin
s37e05
- Hogmanay
- Someone who may be considered to have too large a collection of a particular Impressionist painter
s41e04
- Hogwarts
- STD suffered by David Cameron
s71e02
- Homophobe
- Somebody who doesn't like the Simpsons
s38esp3
- Homophobic
- Allergic to Greek epic poetry
s55e04
- Honolulu
- To give an MBE to a Scottish singer
s45e05
- Hootenanny - 1
- A goat with a big nose
s62e06
- Hootenanny - 2
- Day care for little owls
s67e04
- Horatio
- The difference in size between two or more groups of prostitutes
s64e06
- Hormone
- A professional fake orgasm
s55e04
- Hors d'Oeuvres
- Women who hang round diesel pumps
s57e06
s40e04
s66e06
- Horticulturalist
- Brian Sewell
s44e06
- Hosepipe
- A dance by sailors wearing socks
s37e05
- Hospice
- Equestrian discharge
s59e04
- Hotpot
- Stolen drugs
s40e04
- Hullabaloo
- How to greet a bear
s39e02
s68e06
- Humphrey
- A road with no sleeping policemen
s41e02
- Humpty Dumpty
- One who is humped and dumped
s37e02
- Hunky Dory
- A butch fish
s42e05
- Hurdy-Gurdy
- Opposite of Hisdy-Gurdy
s64e04
- Hustle-bustle
- Nineteenth century kerb crawler
s37e03
- Hyacinth
- An elevated keyboard
s71e02
- Hydrangea - 1
- A fun game played by Yogi and Boo Boo
s52e06
- Hydrangea - 2
- Warning from Tonto
s37e02
s51e06
s52e04
- Hydrant
- An ant with three heads
s60e06
- Hydraulics
- To conceal the things that you rest your oars in
s38e06
- Hysterics
- Dorset for "That belongs to Derek"
s70e02
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